Waiting
by Seizalyn
Summary: A delve into Reina's thoughts as she stays up at home, on a lonely night, waiting for her husband's return. Mild spoilers for Kurei's past ^_^


**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Ooh...what is this? A fanfic about Reina? Dear, ol', skeleton-head-throwing Reina? *grins* Well, yeah -- it is, so you can stop hitting yourself now. You're awake!...and this is a fanfic about Reina *sweatdrops as everyone tries to pinch themselves awake anyway* 

Ever since seeing her in the anime, I've always felt sorry for the position she was in. Even more so when she accused Ohka of not coming back to their home -- it's almost as if he'd completely forgotten about his other family after Recca's birth. And while I like Kagerou ^_^ I still felt really sorry for her. I definitely wouldn't like being cast aside for another woman (who would? @_@;;;) 

So I wrote this to convey what I thought she might have been feeling, during one of those lonely nights when Ohka didn't come home. Hey, she must've have loved him to some extent, if she'd go to all that trouble of collecting skeleton heads as her 'gift', right? ^^;; 

Besides, I really liked her hair in the anime ;o) And that's good enough fer me! ^.~ 

**SPOILERS:** If you know about Reina and the name 'Ohka' rings a bell, you're pretty much safe for this story! ^_^ But just for the wary, this has minor spoilers on Kurei's past (or more specifically, on the relationship between Recca and Kurei). 

Reviews and comments very much appreciated! Especially since this is about one of the most minor characters in the entire series ^.^ Also, any comments on the tenses would be very, VERY appreciated (it's _hard_ writing in first-person! .XXX) 

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**Waiting**   
by Lynn Utsukushii   
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The night is old. I sit waiting, waiting silently as my eyes vigilantly watched the trail before me, running into the village in a narrow path of pebbles and grass. Covered within the blanket of night, only the shadows conceived from the moonlight above highlighted the silhouettes around me; and it is under the shade of the wooden porch do I sit waiting.

Waiting for his return, as the flickering flame within the lamp casts flecks of fiery red upon my face, highlighting the hollow of my throat and cheekbones as I absently ring my hands together upon my lap. The night was hot, the flame was hot, and I felt the urge to simply return to the cooling comfort of my room. But I cannot, for I have waited since the time when the shine of the gentle stars peeked from behind the thick, night-covered clouds; and wait I will continue to do until I see his familiar form coming down the narrow path. I lift a hand, unwinding the fingers and pull at my dark brown hair, now let loose from the normal braid I leave them in. 

My hair was so long, maybe that's why I felt so hot. Maybe I should cut it...Yes, maybe I will. Would that be okay? Would he agree to seeing my long locks the colour of medium wood, the pride of my nineteen years of life, simply chopped off within mere seconds? I wish I could answer that. Maybe then I could still pretend...pretend that I still knew what he wanted. 

Pretend that I still knew him. 

But I couldn't. I never admitted it, but I didn't know him anymore. How could I, when I hardly ever see him, let alone talk to him? All he ever wants to talk about is the coming of his second son...and that is a subject that I will never broach. Thus, we rarely ever exchange a word of conversation in each passing day -- if at all. But it wasn't like that in the beginning! No, never like that...Back then, back in the days long past which have become nothing more than mere bitter-sweet memories, we could actually talk like a real couple would. And he would listen. 

He's late. Again. 

He's always been late before, but never this late. I suppose I should have expected such a result, being that I had a good inkling of just where he was right now...Where he always was these days. Not here, not in his home where his wife would sit vigilantly like the silly little girl that she was, waiting for him to return and to greet him with her ever-cheerful smile. He was...somewhere else, where it was he who would sit vigilantly by her side and wait anxiously for _that_ time to come. 

The night...is growing darker and darker, and still he has not returned. But then again, had I ever expected him to? Of course not. I'm far smarter than that -- I know when the situation is hopelessly lost. So why I would sit here, with my legs aching and the heat of the flames dancing before my eyes, and wait for him anyway...I have no idea. Maybe I really was nothing more than a stupid little girl. Clinging to a false hope and a false belief; only children do that. 

I had always been a child, deep down. The little girl who would sit all day and dream of things to come, the things I would achieve. Otousama called it a waste of time, but I had always believed that those dreams would come true. And they did, they really did. My dreams were simple; a caring husband, a lovely child and a peaceful family was all I'd ever hoped for. I hadn't cared if I'd married the pauper of the village, I would have been happy anyway...as long as he cared.

I had been so surprised, when the news came that I would be the wife of the Hokage clan's future leader. Yes, my family was quite well-to-do...But never had I expected myself to be the one who would bear the child of Ohka.

Ohka...He had been so nice to me. So very nice. He listened. He noticed...He cared. My dream had come true. 

But now--now he never listens, never sees. I try to portray my feelings, as much as a female can do in all her power, but he never seems to notice. His eyes light up with joy whenever he talks about his soon-to-come son, but he never sees how the light within me simply dims to the point of dissipation. And the that dream crumbles under the cruel light of reality. 

It's almost as if I disappear completely when he talks about...about _them_. 

My hair, it's flowing everywhere. So inconvenient; I should have known better than to let it loose. But I always let it loose whenever I retire for the night -- for a night of loneliness yet again as I wonder when he will return. I really had been determined to not wait fruitlessly again tonight...but within the blink of an eye, I found myself lighting the lamp and now I am waiting once again. How many times had I done this? Countless times. Sometimes he returns, conveying his surprise to me for being up at such late hours and I simply brush them off with a smile and the offer to make him some tea, conveniently forgetting the reason he was late in the first place. 

But mostly...he doesn't. 

Lifting up the sleeve of my lavander kimono, I sigh as I wipe away the slight beads of sweat upon my brow. How long _had_ it been? And how long will it be before I finally realise and accept that all is lost? 

...Well, no. Not really. I still have one more achievement under my name: I am the mother of the clan's future Flame Master. It's really the only thing I have left that is mine to claim. My son, Kurei. I gave him life, cherished and cared for him and I will watch as he grows into the strongest Flame Master in the history of the Hokage Ninjas. He is my pride and joy. The only joy I have left after I was cast aside in favour of that woman.

Kagerou...I know you. You're nice, kind, perfect. You have qualities that would bring every male in the clan to their knees in their bid to wed you. But why? Of all the people in the village, why him? You knew of my dreams; I told you all about them when we were younger. You even gave us your blessing on that wonderful day. But now, you have somehow managed to steal him from me, and in the process, stealing the hearts of everyone else in the village.

You hurt me, Kagerou. The last person you wished to hurt was me, but you did anyway. But what is most painful is that I know you, and I know you would never intentionally do such a thing. 

"Okaasan..." 

Startled from my reverie, I look up in surprise to see my young son standing just before me, a small cloth in his hands. 

"Okaasan...please don't cry." 

Fingering the tiny droplets that fell upon my palm, my eyes widened and I felt like slapping myself. Why didn't I notice that I had cried? Was I really that weak? I fisted my palms and grabbed my kimono, my hands trembling and my lower lip quivering. The shame was horrible. Yet, as I felt the soft cloth that soon came to gently dab at my cheeks, clearing away the stains of tears and sweat, I very nearly wanted to break down into a sobbing wreck. 

Ohka used to do that. He would have been the one to comfort me in the past, but he wasn't here anymore. Now, this responsibility was passed onto Kurei. A boy of only four years old was trying to comfort his crying mother. 

Ohka...Ohka, why? You have a son and a wife right here, waiting for you. Have you truly forgotten us? Your second son isn't even born yet and you're already obsessing over him, whilst your current family right here is waiting for you like we always are. You have a responsibility to your family, but you don't even bother! You may love Kurei, but does he know that? Are you ever around anymore to tell him that? 

Bringing Kurei into my arms, I felt myself being comforted by the mere presence of my son.

Yes, _my_ son. I may have lost you, Ohka, but I will always have Kurei. The future Flame Master. I know he will do great things one day...One day, I know it will happen. And until that day comes, I will wait. Running my hand up and down his back, I gently lulled Kurei to sleep with an old lullaby Okaasama used to sing. 

_But I won't wait for you anymore, Ohka. I cannot._

His breathing evened, and I held him closer. I didn't know who was being comforted -- him or me -- but all I knew was that it felt good, and that's all that mattered. 

_I'm tired, you see. Enough of countless waiting for countless nights, I know when to quit._

I would be expected to visit Kagerou when the boy has been borne, to give my blessings, but there will not be any joy to that visit. It is simply a duty, and I will accomplish it...my way. 

_You're not coming back, are you, Ohka? I have lost you forever, haven't I? But...that's okay. I now realise that I have someone left in my life._

It isn't my fault; it's theirs. I know exactly what I will bring as a 'blessing', and I will probably be hated throughout the village after that. But it isn't my fault. It's theirs. Their fault for hurting me like this, and so they deserve a punishment. Even if they didn't mean it. 

_Ohka...it's too late. Even if you were to walk up the path right at this very moment, it's already too late._

I blow out the flame before me, and darkness reigned as I stood, carrying Kurei in my arms. The darkness within is growing, and I let it. Kagerou is the nice one. Don't expect me to copy her. 

_I am tired of waiting._

~fin~ 


End file.
